I hate to cry alone. I hate having to spend my sleepless nights without you. I'll be staring at blank spaces thinking about shits, stuffs that shakes me, stuffs that breaks me. I hate how you could be the sweetest thing and the most insensitive being at the same time. I feel that whatever i did trying to prove my sincerity, my love and my appreciation for you.. all that is not enough cause whenever i need you to enlighten me when i'm at my lowest shittiest point , you don't seem to give me all of that. When i'm mad , when i throw all that vulgarities, all those nasty words at you, please just bear with me. I promise you all that won't last more then ten minutes.. I know it's unpleasant, i know it's hurtful. When i'm done... hug me . Cause all that madness , they're simply feelings i don't know how to put in words. They're what I've been signaling and trying to tell you but you never noticed. I'm not all that ; that everything you see. I'm more like a tangled mess,you know.. i'm like trying to untangle myself free but it's like there's knots after knots . It's frustrating and I'm so tired , i need help i can never do it alone. Please don't make it harder for me. 

I know you must be sleeping by now. I'm still up,wide awake. I wished you had called me back a while ago when i hung up. I was on the verge of breaking down and like always, you never noticed. I was really upset cause whenever i got sad or feel insecure about anything, you'd "claw-out" at me like it was my fault to love you that much . Forgive me, for always over-thinking and assuming shit. Come on , we all do that. That's only normal right? ):